They say Love is Blind

I say love is blind, love is deaf, love is intoxication.

Love is a high; Fantastic only till the high lasts!

Love is Romeo, Love is Majnu,

Love is craziness; for grief of love drove both to death!

Day 1, 7:00 A.M

She blinked her eyes open and sprang up on the cozy soft bed.

'OMG, what have I done'.

'Arghh', she moaned out and was relieved to soothe her hangover on the muslin pillow.

She gazed across the lying figure next to her. Sleeping to the glory.

She felt the urgency to shake him awake and shout out loud.

She hardly remembered anything. What had happened?

It's weird how Love anesthetizes all wisdom of years

Like a carrot on a stick, never realising it's just a lure!

Day 1, 10: P.M

'But how can you say he really loves you?', he groaned.

Ten hours and how fast time flies! She was still adamant on her love - true love as she claimed.

He didn't apologize for the sleeping with her. He loved her.

He dropped her at her place and bid her bye.

She walked back to her home somberly. And he looked on with a heavy heart.

She was adamant. He tried his best to make her see that she was being taken for a ride!

What's the lure? Is it the Love? Or is it the state of being in love- the intoxication?

Or do we relate love to happiness? Is love really happiness? Or is happiness about sharing and giving love?

Has anyone ever given it a thought on whether his beloved really loves him as she claims?

Why is love professed just once enough to believe the love is and will be there throughout?

Why do we not always test our beloved if they do really love as they professed once?

Day 365:

Their eyes met. She looked at him warmly and smiled.

He did hear about her on and off through friends. He knew she was heartbroken as he had warned her a year ago.

Disclaimer: This is my second attempt on fiction.

The Call

For my Best Friend - GOD
He has been with me all the time and all the while. Never Failing me.
Making my faith in him stronger and steady. I owe it only to you GOD for where I stand today!


Sometimes I wish hard, I wish hard I could touch you!
Sometimes I feel so cold, and I wish hard I could hug you


All the time I wish for your warmth , you are right beside me
Gracing warmth to my wet thoughts, to my Self


When I look around to find a warm corner
I find none that is warm and cozy as yours.

The Unorganized Chaos Vs Organized Chaos

I'm standin' on the bridge, I'm waitin' in the dark,
Theres nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground,
Im listening, but there's no sound.

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me? Won't somebody come take me home.

It's a damn cold night, Tryin' to figure out this life,

I'm lookin' for a place,I'm searchin' for a face,

Is anybody here I know, Cause' nothin's goin right,

And everything's a mess,

Oh, why is everything so confusing, Maybe I'm just out of my mind

~ Avril Lavigne (Damn Cold night)

Lost? Confused? A maddenning chaos churning inside?

This is what I was 2 months ago. It took me a while to get back on my feet. A long journey it was!

I did an interesting experiment on myself that taught me a thing or two.

So here it is on - My safe haven - My blog! :)

I was back to an empty home at 8:30 p.m one thursday!

Dart!No lights! Another bluemoon Powercut!

Back inside the room I got hold of the dimming emergency torch light.

Thats when it struck like a bingo!

The clutter inside my head had resulted in a clumsy n cluttered room.

My room. My space! So how many times do we have a powercut? Say once in 6-8 months!

Yet in the darkness I just knew where the torch was kept?

Wondering? or So What? or Oh Yeah! or A Big O ohh!

A Brief Background: I was hit by a huge personal setback! It took the ground beneath my feet!

So lost I was that I hid myself into a shell to be never heard nor spoken of! I could neither eat nor sleep! I metamorphed into a silent crying tanker in the shadow away from everyone's eyes n ears!

God wished me a good samaritan n she helped me out to where I stand today!

What had happened to me? Why was I unable to stand up? Why was I so lost?

It wasn't the first time I had been in mess? So why wasn't I able to pull myself up together?

What is that I erred over a period of time that I forgot how to pull it up?

Unorganised Chaos - thats where I stood 2 months ago!

Organised Chaos - Knowing and picking the torch in a cluttered room!

My room was clumsily kept. Clothes all around on the bed, on the clothes stand, on the chair.

Books lying around on the laptop table, on the computer table, on the box, on the bed.

Papers lying all around. Latest shopping binges sleeping on bed! And gosh what not!

Yet there were few things untouched and unmoved! And eventhough I hardly acknowledged them I just knew where they are !

Now I want to call these as Anchors - the immovable fixed things.

If at that point in my Life I had identified my Anchors - I wouldn't be where I was -

In total chaos n with a lost identity!

How do I define Anchor? What exactly these Anchors can be?

Are they the Family? Are they close friends?

The Answer is NO!

Anchors are within ourselves! They have to be found within oneself.

They should be what makes us. They should be what charaterizes us as an individual.

They are what individualizes us from others.

Experiment # 1:

I knew I would be back home very late when lights would be put out when I reach. The morning

I left for work I did a very random placing of everything. Tables were pushed and pulled into

another place. The chair was kept somewhere. Towel was thrown somewhere. Pillow was down on floor. Books somewhere else. Home clothes kept neatly at another place. Facewash thrown away somewhere.

It was a hectic day at work n I reached home tired n dead. I entered my space. Didnt switch on

the lights and went about with my routine as usual minus the lights. 20 minutes. And I gave up.

I was so tired and I just didnt have the stamina to go ahead with find my things in the dark.

Experiment aborted!

Anchor was - knowing who I am. It was knowing what makes me and what breaks me.

Over a period of time I had lost in touch with myself! I distanced myself from being what I loved being. I distanced myself from what I am from myself.

And thats why the series of incidents that happened pricked and punctured me so much from within.

Experiment # 2:

I enrolled myself in an interesting workshop where the instructor asked us to do a Weird task.

Task: Walk the breadth of the hall. ?????? the catch - backwards :)

We were 3 people in all. and all started in a go. The first walk was really very difficult. It was like walking inside the picture I captured inside my mind before plunging into the task. Imagining the next frame, taking small n weak steps, careful not to bump into any of the other participants.

2nd go eased out the mental blocks to some extent. 3rd and 4th were comparatively easier.

We all realised the pace of each other. And became aware of each others footsteps. The mental curtain was drawn down because familarity bred in.

What's round the next corner of Life - no one knows. But do not shut yourself down. You would see through it. It makes you stronger and more aware about yourself and about everyone.

This isnt for everyone. This search for anchors. This search from within.

Some are lucky to be strong emotionally - courtsey strong childhood. Problems and complications do not affect them and they can move with their life with no or less effect!

This might be mindless write up for them.

This is for those who gets knock down when a complication wheezes. The emotional and sensitive ones! Its not easy at first to seek from within what makes us. It would break you. But surprisingly you will find that you are back on your feet. And that element that is what makes you!

Woah what a coincidence!!!

One of my friends shared few songs and movies!

And guess what.. This is gonna be really weird!

I browsed through music collection when the Greenday song catches my eye!

I couldnt resist but check out the song at the first go!

Well.... I didnt see the title.. Just opened to hear it and guess what?

Title of the song is - Wake me up when September ends!

Woah .. this is definetely weird!!!

I had never heard of this before but these were the same lines

I said few months before! Courtsey some past incidents!

I still remember the first thing I wrote was - Wake me up when September ends!

and then I changed it to Wake me up when Septemebr kisses!

The Truth always Prevails :)

So True!

My Truth won n justice done :)

Luv u Goddie >:D<

F.E.A.R factor

Her Eyes..

I could see through her eyes through the nerve pumping up her thudding heart.

Overwhelming fear, pouring out n smashing right through into my heart.

A second split into millions. one-millionth of that second? yeah thats it... yeah thats right

And I read her. I just knew that fear! Yeah her Fear for that split second.

Making the unseen connection. Her voice pierced into my mindskull and out through my ears!

Oh Yeah Princess you had all my attention! With her Big black round eyes. Long and thick eyelashes. Cupping fear! Holding back the luv for life!

Full of udderly motherly love a split second before. ;)

I had to left force arnie to give way to her fear.

Tan tadaan tan Tada dan (Trumpets loud n announcing) Curtains Up!Its a creamy delight to inroduce

Quasi-Royals of the Roads of Talwade!

Oh Yeah Oh they are! very much! Side-effects of having an office in a village:

Getting graced every day by "Bhaens" (Buffaloes)

Today even the leisure loafing of the Imperial Entourage on their way back to their "Royal Tabelas" has lost its soreness.

'Cause now nothing beats the Walloping of our enchanting Princess! Scared she took to galloping like a wild horse in the Wild Wild West plains flouting its freedom. N I must say it looked more like a BollyW Heroine escaping from R**ing hooligans! lolz

Oh yeah I was dart lucky! Although the cars behind me weren't ;) coz U see our Lovely princess was all airs stuck crazy- galloping the Bishop(chess) way!

Indecision

Indecision is like a step child;

If he doesn't wash his hands, he is called dirty,

If he does, he is wasting water

I M Possible

Author: Danielle Steel

Ownership: Gifted

Rating: 3/5

There was something about this book that touched me - illogical luv holding fiercely in its bond.

The lines from the book:

"The pull between them was too powerful to resist."

"I love you Sasha. I dont even know you, but I love you. And I'm going to love you more in time. Just give me the chance"

"Sasha I know this sounds crazy. I hardly know you, but I think I love you. i feel like I've been waiting for you all my life"

"I want you to notice something he said, as he pulled up one soaked leg of his blue jeans, and pulled off his cowboy boot with some effort. She couldnt see anything remarkable. He was wearing white cotton atheletic socks, and he pointed at the one she was staring at. "you see that. Socks. I wore them for you. I bought them at the airport" "

"Does love always have to make sense?"

"She looked like she had lost more weight that week - he hoped it was from her agony over him"

"The day before she had promised herself she would give him up,and in the course of a single weekend, she had decided to risk ker life with him"

" "That's upto you,"She said quietly. " I'm doing the best I can, Liam. Sometimes this is going to be a stretch for both of us. We knew that from the first." "yeah we did. I just didnt realize we'd stretching is me." "

" "I'm sorry,Sasha," Liam said softly. "I missed you so damn much.You're the most stubborn woman on the planet. You never called me" ""

"I know because I love you more than you did two months ago"

" "Mmmmmm...," he said,smiling at her. "you make me feel like a King." " that's good thing." She smiled at him, nestling next to him. Sometimes he made her feel like a Queen. And sometimes he made her feel like the Queen Mother"

"Maybe you need to stand upto her, and tell her the lay of the land"

"It broke his heart that she wasn't willing to stand up for him, or defend him To Tatianna. He has promised her in April that he would keep their affair a secret, for a while anway. But when he did, he had no idea how much doing so would hurt him."

"She missed him beyond belief.She knew there was absolutely nothing she could do to bring him back"

"You're still in love with him,aren't you?" Tiatianna accused her, and Sasha faced her square on.

"yes, I am."

"that's pathetic."

"The only thing that's pathetic is that you're mean-spirited enough to say what you just did,carry on this vendetta, and try to dignify it in you father's name.This has nothing to do with him, or you, or even me at this point. Liam is a decent man, Tatianna. It didn't work out between us, and I'm sorry as hell about it. But if yo want to rub salt in my wounds, you can leave right now. My life is hard enough, and lonely enough as it is, without having you make it any worse."

There were tears in Sash's eyes as tatianna looked at her, stunned by the power of her mother's reaction. Xavier had told her their mother was in love with him, but Tatianna hadn't wanted to believe him. She thought it was just about sex. Now she saw it was much more than that and she hadn't expected Sasha to let her have it with both the barrels."

"I'm sorry, mother",she said quietly. "I didn't realize you cared about him so much." She suddenly understood what she had done and what it had cost her mother.

" And had done her good to say it,And tell Tatianna how much she loved him. "

"I wanted to say that I love you"

"We are Insane.Both of us. Insanely in love with eachother Maybe it's sickness. I dont know. All i know is that everytime I see you, I know I can't live without you."

"Please,Sash, give us a chance...."

"They made love as though they were addicted to each other.What they shared was beyond reason, beyond promises,beyond words.All they knew,as they lay together, was that they both believed that it was possible again"

"I'm not going to lose you this time. I don't give a damn what it takes. I don't want to mess this up again. And if you storm out this time, I'm coming with you. I want you to know that. We'll either make this work or kill eachother trying. I'll be goddamned if I'm going to lose you again."

"The truth was she made him grown up, and he made her young.Somewhere middle lay the realm of possibilty thay had been chasing for a year, and seemed to have found it. The secret was to keep it."

"Losing him for four months had shown her just how much he meant to her. And he discovered the same thing."

"She knew what it meant to him now to be accepted, and sometimes even shown off. He needed that, and if that is what it took to make him happy, she was willing todo it. More than willing"

"It was amazing to both of them how quickly it all fell back together, as though they'd never been apart"

"It was though each time they came apart, when they found each other, the mesh that bound them tightened, and they were closer than ever"

"And she had no weapons to fight for him. Beth had 20 years of marriage on her side, and three children, one of them critically sick"

"But you don't go back into a marriage just to nurse a sick child?"

"what if it doesn't work?" Sasha asked while he got dressed. "what if, when Charlotte is better, you two can't stand eachother? Then what happens?"

"Something must have gone wrong, for you to sleep with Becky. Men don't do that unless they are unhappy with their wives."

"You will always be here with me" He pointed to his heart.

"No. I love you. I probably always will"

"I left Beth. It didn't work. We both knew it in a month, but we tried anyway, for kids' sake."

"He had left her so often, and she had died so many times at his hands."

"I love you, Liam. I always did. More than I knew."

"In the end, he had taken her with him. Beth knew it before he did and sent him back"

Brida - Book review n quotes

It was when I heard it from a friend (I was boring her with my bollywood story :) )that I seriously took upon myself to get hold of a copy Brida...


Just 10 pages and I feel this "very strong urge" to note down the thought provoking lines.. Yes it had to be my blog :) where else :p
Mind you I havent read the whole book yet! So yet to come up with my review.


Chapter 1:
'I must be twice her age',he thought. And despite this, he knew that he had met his soulmate.

Let me guess - You think the soulmate struck me? Neah
What struck me is - knew. Wondering what next? haha
Its not about knowing the soulmate :p "Its about only knowing"
How many time are you very sure of what you know? How many time do you completly believe in yourself for what you know? How many times have you said to yourself and everyone I dont know why n how but I just know it?

'I have to trust him,' she told herself. 'If I believe that he can teach me magic, then I also have to believe that he can guide me through the forest.'
They continued walking. He appeared to be wandering aimlessly, from one side to the other, changing direction even when there was no obstacle in his path. More than once they walked in a circle, passing the same place three or four times. 'Perhaps he's testing me.' She was determined to see this experience through to the end and tried telling herself that everything that was happening - including those circular walks - was perfectly normal.

I dont know how many of you could relate to this. But when I read this it was shouting out loud about my Goddie. I dont think there is a need to elaborate more on this. I am sure you all will understand the link between The God n the above lines.

Once again,she was putting her belief in love, trusting her feelings, but she'd been disappointed so often before that she was no longer sure of anything. Nevertheless, this was the great gamble of her life. She continued to avoid the Magus's gaze. Her eyes were fixed on the village and its twinkling lights. People had been trying to understand the universe through love ever since the begining of time.
'I'd give it all up,'she said at last


Magus asked her to choose between her search for the truth and love. She choose love. She believed in love. And she believed love would take her to the truth. How many of us really believe and have the stamina to stand by love? I have faced lots of disappointments but one thing that never changed is the faith on love - true love.

'Magic speaks all languages of the human heart.'
'Magic is a bridge,' he said at last. 'a bridge that allows you to walk from the visible world over into the invisible world, and to learn the lessons of both those worlds.'
'And how can I learn to cross that bridge?'
'By discovering your own way of crossing it. Everyone has their own way.'

'Before our first lesson, I want to remind you of one thing,' he said. 'When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.'
'Strange tools,' said Brida. 'They often dissuade people from carrying on.'

'There's no need to close your eyes. Look at the world around you and try to see and understand as much as you can, The tradition of the Sun is constantly revealing eternal knowledge to each individuals'

The last three I felt requires more reading before I pen down my thoughts.

:)

In Pursuit of my Dreams

I am in total pits today when I happened to come across an orkut video of a friend.
The video is a scene from the flick "Pursuit of Hapiness"
I have seen the movie before. And it fell under forget it types!

Today for the first time and after a long time I was made to realise how worthless I am! And what a hopeless persona I have!

Neah I am not complaining! Nor do i need sympathy!

Seeing this scene helped me pick my bruised spirit atleast a feet above the ditch I was pushed down to!! I dont think I want to look upto the voice asking me to come above anymore! My injured spirit just sees the path inside the ditch.. But no more clambering up anymore.. hurt and too bruised to do that anymore! Maybe if I survive, I will just crawl to the path in the ditch...

Christopher Gardner: Hey. Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. Not even me. All right?
Christopher: All right.
Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

Visualize versus Visible

Visible and Visualize literally stand contrasted and they are!
They both belong to the Senses yet very conveniently contradict eachother!

Visible - Perceivable by the eye

Visualize - To envisage

Visualize breaks the realm of practicality and ethos. A strong driven person visualizes and shapes it into a reality. Thus making it visible to the blinds, to very those Practical Blinds who made a complete mockery out of it!

I have been confused about human senses for a long time. I am still! I stumbled upon an show about a photography workshop for the blinds that showed me a small crack of light!

Photography by blind! Interesting isn't it? I am sure majority booing the very idea!
But let me tell them about a very interesting guy - Evgen Bavcar

Inspired by the former Partho Bhowmick took up to study photography by blind and is successfully running a workshop for them.

In jist what I wanted to convey is:
Uncertainity and confusions are devil's workshop bestowed onto negative heads not for you!
True visualization is God's gift bestowed on selected few. Realize and Live your Dreams :)

Cat n Mouse - Traffic Chase

My first Verie Early day to Office n I Luved it :)
It was fun drving thru the greasy traffic playing the mult-player "overtaking " game
Oh yeah!!! multi-player.. It was the fun today :)
And I am luving driving early to office

DAY 3:
Woah luved the way a qualis overtook the overtaking Car!

DAY 4:

The tom n jerry chase with a honda city till my office.. I won cause the lack of space honda just didnt stand a chance :)

DAY 5:

A healthy chase with an Army guy riding the Thunder bird .. well the machine was sexy n more than that the guy riding the machine.. ;)

DAY 6:

A Red santro, A Red I10, a Red Pajero all one after the other... haha now aint that cool :)

Free Fallin'

She’s a good girl, she loves her mum Love Jesus and America too

She’s a good girl, she’s crazy about Elvis

Loves horses, and her boyfriend too

It’s a long day, livin’ in Reseda

There’s a freeway running thru’ the yard

I’m a bad boy, ‘cos I don’t even miss her

And I’m a bad boy for breaking her heart.

Yeah I’m freeeeeeFree fallin’ (Fallin’)

Yeah I’m free yeahFree fallin’ (falling)

All the vampries, walkin’ through the valley

Move west down Ventura boulevard

All the bad boys are standing in the shadows,

And the good girls, they’re home with broken hearts

Yeah I’m freeeeeeI’m free fallin’ (Fallin’)

Yeah I’m free yeahFree fallin’
Free falling I’m a free falling I’m a…Free falling

I’m a free falling I’m a.

I wanna glide down over Mulholland

I wanna write her name in the sky

I’m gonna free fall out into nothing

Gonna leave this world for a while

And I’m free(Falling I’m a free falling

I’m a…) Free Fallin’ (Fallin’)(Free falling I’m a free falling I’m a…)

Yeah I’m free(Falling I’m a free falling I’m a…)

Free Fallin’(Free falling I’m a free falling I’m a…)

Roses are red and Pune' are Violets

Honestly I never noticed so many colours bloom in pune :)
One thing I missed so much about bangalore are the flowers - so many colours :) :)
I stayed @ airforce station and I had the liberty to oogle at beautiful flowers blooming to glory into their true colours! Pink, red, yellow, lavender, biege, white, orange, deep purple... gosh u name it and hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :)

Wow! Pune got colour smitten too :)
got the oppurtune to click these (courtsey my new HTC HD ;)I knw I knw damn expensive - just couldnt resist it! its way too sexy!)